A Double Rainbow Is Hard To Find
by AlinaLotus
Summary: Even though she knows he'll have to go, even though she knows he'll slip off in the dawn as quietly as he came, she pretends, just for a moment, that this is forever.


**My first venture into Thor...I can't get over how much I ship these two dorks.**

 **Mentions an event from my fic Red For Forgiveness. Set around that same time period, after Avengers AOU. Some canon moments have been changed or just erased, because I said so xD**

 **Do enjoy.**

 _When I found you, it was all pitter-patter_ _  
_

 _So if it's up to me, I'm gonna keep you forever_

She feels him slip into the bed. He's up against her, firm chest on her back, not a breath between their bodies. She's ached for him, his absence weighing on her and pulling at each one of her nerves. She's never been good at letting people go, too sentimental, too feeling. Not that she's planning on giving him up anytime soon- or ever. But she isn't as good at goodbyes as she ought to be. Falling in love with a god in charge of nine realms should have given her plenty of practice, but every time he leaves her, her heart breaks.

But, he's here now, and he smells like the ocean. Like waves and salty air, freedom and longing. She turns to face him, that gorgeous smile of his lighting up the dark room, and her heart soars.

"I hope you're not a dream." She murmurs. She's dreamed this so many times, him there, beside her, time paused, just for them. Then he kisses her, and even with all her imagination, all her intelligence, she knows she could never dream something as wonderful. His kisses are ardent and hot, and she matches his enthusiasm, his strong arms wrapping around her. She melts into him, their bodies now moving as one, and even though she knows he'll have to go, even though she knows he'll slip off in the dawn as quietly as he came, she pretends, just for a moment, that this is forever.

 **oooo**

His father would have preferred Sif. She is a mighty warrior, something comfortable and familiar. And Odin is right, on that mark. Being with Sif, taking her for his queen, would be very comfortable. She is caring and strong and loyal, all the things a queen of Asgard should be. And certainly he cares for her, as he does all his friends, all his companions in battle. Yet it would be like marrying Stark or Natasha, because there is no free-falling in the pit of his stomach when he sees her, no deep desire for her softness, and her kiss, he imagines, would never set his blood on fire.

Those things are all Jane, _only_ Jane, and that's all there is to the matter. His mother saw this, when he would talk of Jane to her. She wouldn't have cared at all, Thor knows, if he ever took a queen. She simply wanted her son- _both_ of her sons- to be happy. Maybe in his last moments Loki was; Thor can only hope that's the case.

Odin is wise. Yet wisdom does not equate omnipotence, and he realizes this now, and he will serve Asgard and his father in every way he can, but without Jane to come home to (because she is home in a sense that Asgard never will be) and to love, it is all, he feels, meaningless.

Maria had told him Jane had been stationed at some SHIELD outpost, continuing her research with Darcy. In fact, Jane had been the one to request the assignment, instead of Coulson having to negotiate (beg, coerce) for her services. Maria personally feels that Jane has done this so she would never be too far from The Avengers, from _him_.

He hates that he puts her life in so much danger, but staying away from her...it hadn't done either of them any bit of good, and if he is beside her, he can protect her. Not that she would ever want him to- she is far mightier than he ever would have guessed. On that mark, his father is completely wrong. Sif has her skills, of course, and her heart is that of a warrior, but Jane is strong in ways nobody from Asgard could ever be. Her humanity is her greatest weapon.

So he finds her room, a small apartment but a comfortable one, not that Jane had any airs about such things. She only needed to be near her research, her work, and she was happy. It could be a fine terrace in Asgard or a tin trailer and it was all the same to her.

It's the middle of the night, and she's fast asleep, an open physics book on her bedside table, and the whole place carries her scent, the smell of tree blossoms in the spring. He should leave her be, at least until morning- she's clearly exhausted and has been working far too much, as is her way. But then she sighs in her sleep and he sheds his armor without a second thought, kicking his boots off quietly and placing Mjolnir on the floor beside the bed.

Instinctively he pulls her to him, her petite body so warm against his own. Oh, how he has missed this with every fiber of his being. It pains him to be so far from her so often, but there are realms to protect, and she has her work; they would never ask each other to sacrifice their duties so they could be selfish and be together always. He knows when morning dawns, it will be him that has to slip back out of her room and return to the real world of battles, of villains and heroes. He promises himself that no matter what the day brings, he will end up back here, in this bed, Jane in his arms.

 **oooo**

He leaves her gifts- always something on the arm of her sofa, or the windowsill above the sink, sometimes hidden in the pocket of her coat. Once it was a chocolate rose, which Darcy promptly helped herself to, but Jane still has the red foil wrapper tucked safely away between the pages of an astronomy book. Another time, he brings her a hair clip with swirling, physics-defying designs from one of the other realms.

They are his apology for leaving. He hates it too, she knows. In a perfect world they could lock themselves away and he would never have to fight or lead, and she would never have to research and discover. So even though she dreads finding them because she knows it means that no, she won't be seeing him anytime soon, she takes comfort in his thoughtfulness and generosity.

One day, he leaves her a jewel of his mother's. Thor has told her about it before, when he was describing Asgard and the small, physical things that reminded him of it. It's crystalline, a many colored and faceted reflection permanently encased in Asgardian metal forged by the most talented of makers. A miniature Bifrost that was, many years before, set in an extravagant crown. Frigga had it dismantled, never caring for such ornate displays of Odin's bounty.

It had been remade into a ring with a delicate band, and she finds this in a spectacular silk box on the vanity in the bathroom. Her breath catches when she opens it, her heart hammering in her chest.

It isn't a proposal and she wouldn't even begin to know Asgard's marriage rituals- surely a god could never truly marry a mortal anyway- but she just _knows_ this is a symbol of his devotion, of his love. She could doubt many things about the world they now live in, even about Thor himself, but she does not doubt his love for her.

So she carefully slips the ring onto her left hand (and it fits like it was made for her), twisting her finger so the light catches on the rainbow constellation of the jewel, and in that moment, Jane Foster considers herself, in every way that matters, married to Thor Odinson.

 **oooo**

Jane is a star.

Tony once mentioned that of course Thor would fall for Jane, as after Pepper, she was the best looking bird around. Stark used cruder language, of course, but Thor more or less understood what his brackish teammate meant. In Asgard, physical beauty wasn't something that was so sought after as it was on Midgard. He appreciates Jane's aesthetic appeal, of course, but no matter what she were to look like, he would care for her all the same. What made him notice her wasn't the delicate shape of her face or the fullness of her lips, but how she regarded him and how she taught him, how her passion for her work showed in every one of her actions.

So, Jane is a star. A bright, shining beacon that he can always come back to, when his strength is waning or his heart depressed, and she will be there with a soft kiss and words of love and encouragement. These are things not found in the depth of her eyes nor the shape of her body, though he longs for those, too.

Stars are not beautiful because they look it so, but because of what they mean to the people who seek them.

 **oooo**

When she sees him the next time, she knows they are on the same wavelength and always have been. On his left hand he wears a band, made from the same metal as her own ring. She never takes it off, and often, unconsciously, she holds it against her heart, as if he can somehow hear her heartbeat.

He slides into her shower where she's been for the past ten minutes, his voice deep and guttural against her ear, their bodies slick, sliding against and into each other. It is slow and fevered and she thinks her lungs are on fire, to match the rest of her body, of course. Thor does this to her, makes every cell and atom within her cry out with pleasure and desire.

God of thunder indeed.

 **oooo**

He knows he'll have to go and she'll have to stay, but not _yet. He's not ready to leave her yet._ So he brings her along, the next time Fury calls. She'll be as safe with him as anywhere else, and they'll both be happier. Even if he wasn't, Jane's happiness means more than almost anything to him.

Fury isn't exactly thrilled, but he doesn't say much about it. Jane hasn't quite forgiven Coulson yet for initially stealing her life's work, but she is cordial to him and Thor proudly introduces her to the names and faces she's heard so much about. The mission isn't exactly a mission, but she gathers something has happened to Black Widow- Natasha. Dr. Banner is on board the helicarrier, too, and Maria Hill tries to fill in the gaps of Jane's knowledge where those two are concerned.

One day she sees Bruce, utterly lost in his own thoughts, gazing out the long windows of one side of the ship. She can only imagine too well the pain he's going through, how much he must miss Natasha. Sure, it was his own doing that kept them apart, but is that any different than Thor abandoning her for two years? At least Bruce came to the conclusion that two is better than one sooner than her own- boyfriend? Husband? Lover? She settles for, Other Half, and she approaches the lone doctor by the window.

She doesn't know what to say or if she should even try to comfort him. Darcy and Erik try, but when she is desperate for Thor's presence and he's literal worlds away, their words and their gestures are basically useless. So instead, she tells him about dreaming of the Bifrost as a child. Maybe if he sees that an impossible child's fancy can come true, then he, with all of his problems and all of his insecurities, will find what he's looking for, too.

 **oooo**

She likes Pepper. There's a certain camaraderie between them that she hasn't found in anybody else. Darcy just doesn't understand what it's like to love an Avenger, but Pepper does, and Pepper knows what it feels like to go weeks, months, without word of or from the man you love.

So they laugh together and worry together, and it's so _nice_ that somebody understands, that somebody gets it, and she can stay up until the early hours of the morning, eating cheese fries on the floor of the helicarrier cafeteria, and she can't remember the last time she was able to girl talk with anybody. Pepper regales her with the hilarious tragedy of working for Tony, and falling in love with him. Jane wonders what it would have been like to have known Thor for years before being with him in the way she is now. She couldn't imagine waiting that long.

When Pepper rolls her eyes while telling her about the giant bunny Tony got her for Christmas before they were attacked by missiles, Jane can't help but think that Pepper Potts is the strongest person she's ever known.

 **oooo**

It's been six months since he last held her, since he flew off with the rest of the Avengers. He hasn't called, though he ever rarely did before, and every route she's tried to get news of him has lead to dead ends. The numbers Coulson had given her have been disconnected, Erik won't tell her anything of his top-secret solo project he's obsessed with, and Darcy has lost patience for Jane's bipolar bouts whenever Thor is gone. Even Pepper won't get back to her, all the texts, voice mails, and emails sent to her ginger friend gone without response. This doesn't surprise her, though- there's no word of Iron Man, either. It's too hard to say aloud, even to each other, the two women who genuinely sympathize with one another. It's as if the Avengers have fallen of the face of the earth. She can only hope for his safety, for him to return to her. She's waited longer before, and she'll wait forever.

She returns to New Mexico, feeling more home there than anywhere else. She thinks that SHIELD is still following her, or at least making note of the paper trail she is sure to leave behind. If Thor isn't in contact with Heimdall, at least Coulson or Maria can point him in the right direction. The desert is the best view of the stars, anyway, and they remind her so much of Thor, of their first meeting and even though he was gone for so long, she had hope there.

Her trailer is in the same spot and the same condition, and she settles back into a lonely routine, but the isolation isn't unwelcome. Darcy is now helping Erik with something, both of them vague and rarely checking in on her. She's come to accept this, and it bothers her far less than she thinks it should.

She may be going mad, but it's rather pleasant. At times, mostly when she's drifting off to sleep, she thinks she can hear his heart beating next to her ear. She's memorized the sound, craved it, and it gives her a sense of peace. As long as his heart still beats, she'll be okay. Just knowing he's alive- or believing he is- will be enough for her. It has to be.

Jane has had a lot of time to think. To ponder. To wonder. It had never been laid out plain, but she thinks there was something more than just friendship between Thor and Sif. Not that she could blame either one, of course. She had never been a believer in something so trite as love at first sight, until she saw Thor lying there on the desert sand. Thor could affect people like that, regardless of what realm they were from. And Sif is ethereal in her beauty, and she is funny and clever and brave. Sif is a true warrior, somebody, deep down in Jane's insecure subconscious, that she knows Thor truly deserves. Odin would much rather, Jane is sure, have Sif for Thor than a mortal. And Jane understands! She truly gets that, gets that somebody who has Thor's devotion ought to be able to stand beside him in his trials, not left behind because they may be collateral damage, because they are too weak, too _human_ _,_ to protect themselves.

She thinks Odin probably blames her for Frigga and Loki's death. Does Thor? Is that why he's been gone so long? Do his friends agree? Maybe they all talked some sense into him, maybe he's moved on, no longer able to be with the woman who took the two people he loved most in the world from him.. Her heart is an icy vice inside her chest at that thought.

No. NO. Thor loves her. He does. Though she learned long ago that "I love you" doesn't mean "I won't ever leave you".

If only she could talk to Pepper.

 **oooo**

She's at the market, mulling over her bread choices. She doesn't particularly care what she eats these days, but she figures going through the motions will help in some capacity. So she stands in the aisle, her back to the peanut butter, eyes roving over whole wheat and multi-grain and low-carb wraps. She smiles wistfully as she remembers Thor downing a whole box of cherry pop-tarts. The breakfast aisle is just one over, and who needs bread anyway?

So Jane leaves the store with both hands full of bags, food she will force herself to eat in an attempt to be normal and do normal things. Pepper told her that life can't stop because they were alone, that in the end Tony and Thor and the rest of them would always come home. So she's tried to take that to heart, and she feels somewhat proud at her shopping trip. Groceries may not seem like a big deal to anybody else, but she's going about a typical daily life, and if that happens to coincide with waiting for the cloaked, hammer-wielding god she loves to descend in a rainbow fury from the sky, well, so be it.

She struggles with the weight of one bag, shifting it to her other hand, the contents of the bag almost spilling onto the sidewalk. She curses, trying to stop her purse from sliding off her shoulder as well.

"May I offer a hand?" She almost gets whiplash from looking up so fast. He's there, in all his glorious splendor, looking much too god-like in jeans and a black V-neck shirt. His golden hair is pulled back into a loose ponytail, and she can't decide whether she wants to kiss him or slap him.

She settles for dumping the bags and leaping into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. His lips are on her, before she can say a word to him, and her anger fades away into the air around them. Neither of them want to pull apart, and she moves her mouth against his until her lungs are burning. He releases her, allowing her to breathe, when her phone buzzes from her back pocket.

Pepper's face appears on the screen, flushed and lit up. "Jane! Jane, they're back, have you seen-" the scenery spins, and Jane sees glimpses of Pepper running, the phone flipping through the air as Pepper lets go of it so she can throw herself at Tony, who scoops her up in his arms.

Jane laughs and hangs up, her brain and heart and entire body scattered as Thor kisses her again. He holds the grocery bags with one arm, his other wrapped around Jane's waist as Mjolnir takes them back to her trailer, back to the desert where it all began, where _they_ began.

He tells her of his adventures, and she tells him of her work. They make up for lost time, rediscovering each other under the velvet, midnight black sky. She wakes in his arms, and he worships her, his hands and lips rarely kept to himself, as though he's trying to imprint every dimple, every curve, into his memory.

Even though she knows he'll have to go, even though she knows he'll slip off as quietly and as suddenly as he came, she pretends, just for a moment, that this is forever.

 **Lyrics used from Double Rainbow by Katy Perry. As ever, feedback is appreciated.**


End file.
